Confessions of a Worship Arts Pastor

A couple years ago, I was ready to leave the institutional church – not “THE CHURCH,” just the institutional expression. This was motivated by several things, but I felt that the system as a whole was broken. Understand that this has nothing to do with the people I work with – I LOVE those people….DEARLY. My issue was with the current state of THE CHURCH as a whole. I felt like over the last 1700ish years or so, we’d drifted far from the principles, practices, and lifestyle with which the early church operated; Far from the original mandate we’d been given – to GO and make disciples, love the Lord, love people, and to live as a priesthood of believers. But instead of going with authority (as sent ones)… into our world… our neighborhood… our workplace..........., we stayed and built, and we said “Come to us.”

Essentially, I felt like we took the curtain that was ripped in two at Christ’s death, and sewed it back together. We rebuilt an elaborate religious system. We rebuilt the temples – rather than living in the reality that WE are the temple (1 Corinthians 6:19). We installed our own priests - rather than living as a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9). We even rebuilt the altars (Protestants call them “stages,” and have “altar calls.”)

Our buildings got larger and larger. Our programs and products got better and more elaborate. We thought that in doing so we’d compete with the world (on their terms) and win people over. But we were so busy developing programs, and productions, and concerts, and facilities, and events, and youth facilities, and groovy gadgets, and hip bands, that WE FORGOT TO GO. And in our staying, we got lazy. We paid trained professionals to conduct “the service” for us, rather than operating as a priesthood of believers. (Check out 1 Corinthians 14:26 and Acts 2:42-47 for a couple glimpses of how the church used to operate). It seemed to me that more and more Christians, (not “new believers,” but folks who’d been in the church for years) seemed to be consumed with their programs and products. Think for a minute about what church-folk get upset about…. The music… The drama team… The children’s ministry… The youth group… The service went 15 minutes long.  And don't even get me started on denominations. 

So… to sum it up, I went into meltdown mode. I was overwhelmed and paralyzed - especially given the fact that this was a system which I helped perpetuate - a system from which I received 100% of my income. In my desperation and despair, I was ready to bolt and just do house church. But fortunately, I have wise friends… some involved in institutional church life, some involved in house church life, and they counseled me to sit tight and see what God would do. I’m thankful they said that, because slowly, over time, something began to happen. “I” began to change. I realized that many of the frustrations I had with the institutional church were true of me. I wasn’t loving people. I wasn’t “going.” Even though I was reaching out to some of my neighbors, I wasn’t doing it to the level that I should or being as deliberate about it as I should. I wasn’t living as a priest. I wasn’t living as a sent one. But as I (along with some of my friends) began to change some of that, I saw something happen. I saw others within the church doing the same….not because of me… but because I believe the same Spirit that was working in me was working in them as well. I saw people sacrificing, giving, serving, going, and risking. And the more I saw it, the more I was challenged and inspired.

And while my following of Jesus is FAR from perfect…. I have hope again. I believe that in some ways, God is redeeming His church… and as a result, I now believe it isn’t so much about institutional church, or house church, or simple church, or organic church…… I just believe that the church needs to BE the CHURCH. I believe that “I” need to BE the church. And whatever happens as a result of that….. so be it. Amen.